i can feel things aint going right. people say absence makes the heart fonder, but in my case i dont agree with it. i can the distance now. from something to abit and soon will it go to nothing? everyday in my mind i am telling myself she is the one but what is happening?

i cant get anything out neither can i force an answer out. only time can tell. i wonder if ye ling still take me as someone she might consider being with or just a normal friend. i know about the troubles she is going through but i cant do anything about it but to respect her decision. only thing i can say she is really decent and nice. she used to tell me how guys broke her heart. she was once someone who loved her bf alot. now its totally different. sometimes i asked myself, why does she have to put herself and me into a situation where both will end up suffering. why did she start it? why did i agree to it? why? why? why?

alot of things changed. communication between us decreased tremendously. for 2 weeks i received less then 10 sms from her only after i msged a few times. waited for her to msg me but no she didnt msg me. when i come back, i just felt so empty. if everything she said before i went into that 2 weeks of hell is true, i am totally fine with it. the thing now is, what being said and what is done doesnt match each other. i am like back to square one. why is it like this?

as for now, she is saying that at the point of time what she said is true. does it mean now its not true anymore? i really dunno. if she wanna stay single, fine. as for me i will focus on my ns. 36 days passed and i think its about to stop. taking everything that happened as a lesson once again. well congrats to whoever the lucky guy will be out there. all the best.

Gregory posted at 2:01 AM,
Saturday, September 23, 2006